Tenuous

My aunt fainted today. Exhaustion, stress, the burden of daily life compounded. She collapsed in my arms and I felt afraid. It was the first time I witnessed a person fainting. Got to get to sleep, need to take cousins to school tomorrow morning.

Moving Forward.....

So the doors to Georgetown is closed at the moment, and I can finally move on to my next endeavor. I don't know where to begin, but I may end of jumping onto a campaign. Maybe help Marilyn in Tacoma and Justin with Mallahan's campaign? Regardless, I need to finish my last five credits for UW.

Reading Dreams from My Father has kept me stable and hoping for the past month. I wonder where my own dad is, if he ever had the intention of looking for his children. Regardless, I will see him one day, but not until I am ready--stable, finished with school and when I'm ready to talk to him face-to-face like an adult. I wonder how life would be now if I hadn't met the Senator? I would have another direction, probably, but my interest in politics would still be there. What has he altered? My confidence in my faith? The desire to find my father? To reconcile? To aspire? I am beginning to get tired of hiding from my extended family. I dreamt that I was at a Korean restaurant with Hannah. I walked in and I was speaking English to Hannah and the hostess grabbed my hand and began insulting me. I said in Korean that the way she was treating me was unfair but her grip on me became stronger and I wriggled to free myself from her prying hands.

Maybe this is a precursor, a premonition? I need to prepare myself, but how do you fully prepare for rejection? No person is ever ready to be rejected. The greatest example of perseverance amongst adversity that I know of is Jesus, with Mandela in a close second. I thought I had it all figured out...Georgetown, coming out to family, and then moving on with my life. I guess the Divine had other plans. If there is one thing I ask, it is for him to transform the pain and loneliness into a commitment, where the experience becomes a mandate for good, the trajectory for ambition and objective. The dream may be a premonition, but the lesson is not to fear rejection but rather to embrace it, for rejection will refine my goals and transfix my vision for humanity.

No more..

Mr. Obama,

Please invest more in clean technology. $150 billion is a start but we need that each year. Also, give Berlusconi and Klaus a big pat on the back and tell them to retire.


Sincerely,

David

Resilience

Does it come naturally/free flowing from the tip of my tongue/to the depths of my soul
chopped/blocked/blotched/it gives way
to free rhythm/raw and unstained.

I came in this cafe to intentionally vent on my blogspot, but I'm already exhausted. The black girl's soul is full of contradictions and maybe because of that's what attract me to the Beauty. The way her Grace is mixed with her internal repressions. Maybe it's just resilience--the fact that she cannot be evaluated, understood by the general eye. Don't doubt me, I don't know what if feel like to be black in America, but I too come from a different angle--being the son of immigrants and a gay Asian American. Those three words do not confine me, they refine me.

"perhaps for the final time, that notions of purity--of race or of culture--could no more serve as the basis for the typical black American's self esteem than it could for mine. Our sense of wholeness would have to arise from something more fine than the bloodlines we'd inherited." Dreams from my Father (204)

That race or culture is an excuse to the problems of minorities has a hidden meaning. A black women going into a Korean hair product shop and being stared at is a deeper, more philosophical way of saying,"I'm as inundated by media's portrayal of blacks as the next person," or "looking at you is something that is socially constructed and I don't mean to, but shoot, I have my own language barrier to deal with and I don't want to be taken advantage of either." These are the words that are so often exchanged in the subtle gestures of the every day minority.

Yet, commonalities bridge differences. Instead of a glance, what about a "herro" in broken Korean English or a smile from the University student who's shopping? Doesn't the subtlest of gestures break the tension of the moment--builds trust?

To collect my thoughts I have commonalities I share with others. The Asian 'other-ness', the tingle of joy we feel every time a young lesbian couple expresses their affections as any normal couple does in the middle of the street, of the sadness when we see a child and reality hits us--I can't legally have one with my partner. The sadder we are, the more cohesive our goals become because they are ingrained in our struggles, our perseverance, our resilience.

Prague...Week 3

My time here has been so far a mixture of personal conflicts and academic growth. The classes on post-Commuism are intriguing, especially since many of the leaders involved in the revolutions are still alive. The president is considered a closet-gay and is an controversial internationally for his views on anti-global warming.

I've been on a rigorous workout regime this past week...five days. The gym is a stress reliever but more importantly, it releases negative attitudes I have been carrying throughout the day. Yesterday was a peculiar case because I met Adrian. We locked eyes for ten seconds and during transitions onto other workout machinery, we locked eyes several other times. There was a lot of testosterone in that room. Afterwards I went to the locker room and he followed me inconspicuously. Right behind me, he took off his clothes and I went to go wash up...then someone else appeared!

I left, got a protein shake at the bar and waited for Adrian to come out. Out of the gym, I formally introduced myself and we rode the tram to TESCO, a shopping mall where I gave him my card and told him to stay in contact. He was from Slovakia working as a civil engineer in Prague. Anyway, I was relieved he spoke some English.

Slavek works for the Ministry of Foreign Affairs in Prague. Very articulate, clean cut, and intelligent, he gives tours on his free time to make some extra cash. We had discussions on gay rights, feminism, China's censorship and human rights abuses and his trepidation about Chinese overpopulation! The Czech Republic is a non-religious country where seventy percent of its population claim to be agnostic or atheist. Thus, there is a strong separation of church and state and more respect for individuality and domestic partnership was passed three years ago.

On a different note, North Korea fired seven ballistic missiles on July 4, a symbolism of defiance against the U.S. for its increased scrutiny and Res. 1874. Either way, the U.S. is importing anti-missile artillery to South Korea for increased security. Kim Jong Un will probably come to power soon, with recent prospects on Jong Il's ailing health.

Speaking of Independence Day, the Korean family on the front of the NY Times this morning reminded me of my family when I was little (given that Joy and I were only toddlers in NYC). The little girl with a headband and two American flags slinging over her head reminded me of Joy and the boy wrapped in his mothers arm reminded me of me. Hope hopeful mom was of the American Dream then, in the midst of her problem and insecurities. I believe that she is for the first time, taking a hopeful look at what America has to offer her through her education. The government is partly funding her to go to school so she feels like her country is investing in her, a feeling which distances itself from most immigrants.

I like to that my country for values we instill in education.

Prague Week 2

“As it was, I learned to slip between my black and white worlds, understanding that each possessed its own language and customs and structures of meaning, convinced that with a bit of translation on my part the two worlds would eventually cohere. Still the feeling that something wasn’t quite right stayed with me, warning that sounded whenever a white girl mentioned in the middle of a conversation how much she liked Stevie Wonder, or when a women in the supermarket asked me if I liked baskeball; or when the school principle told me I was cool.” (82)

“Whatever he decided to do, it was his decision to make not yours, and because of that fundamental power he held over you, because it preceded and would outlast his individual motives and inclinations, any distinction between good and bad whites held negligible meaning.” (85)

The term homophily lingers over my head like a constant storm. The stares I get when I walk down the street, the constant voices I hear saying, “why aren’t you in your place? Shouldn’t you be helping your parents at the grocery store or staying quiet at least when you enter the subway?” their glances say.
That’s what it feels like to be Asian in Eastern Europe. Because of their inward history, their lingering residue of fear, mistrust, poverty, and authority, they express a stern, steady gaze whenever they see me. Sixty-six percent of Czechs prefer not to live next to a Vietnamese person. “They’re taking away our jobs,” “they look different than us, “or “they stick to themselves,” has its place among the Czech people. The Georgian girl at the café knows how it feels. Nazar, my fellow Ukrainian brother knows its. I wonder if Sean knows it, but if he’s just denying it, deflecting himself with his Stanford pedigree.
I look at Benjamin. He’s cute, built, handsome and black. I would like to kiss him to see how it feels to kiss a black man. That would be tokenization, exploitation at its finest. Yet, how else do I get rid of this fear? Yes, the fear is rational: one out ten black men in the U.S. (18-29) are in jail. One in three have a criminal record. Black still lag behind other minorities, except Latinos, in personal income. The fear is instilled and will be overcome.
Yes, black women have it too. Ashley tells me how she’s followed by the eyes of the Korean women as she cautiously shops the aisles of the hair supply store (L.A. riots anyone?) Rachel: calm, cool and collected, doesn’t downplay the racism she feels on the UW campus. Vanessa carries a heavy load of past hurts that she carefully bandages through her personality and wit. Yet, I carry it. Our generation carries it.
The stare I get from Michael, the Czech at the gym, as I speak English instead of Chinese, is oh so familiar. Gays are even worse. The bar Escape was full of men who wanted just that, or probably saw the world through a veiled lense. The portly, bald guy gave me a full Chinese Buddhist bow to apologize after my little escapade coming back from the washroom after he spilled his drink all over the floor. In my mind, I wanted to say,” go fuck yourself, you ignorant, closeted bitch.” It feels good to release my inner vocabulary after so many years of repression. Sometimes, you just have to say fuck (though I wish for the day when I don’t need to use it any longer.)
Being gay and Asian, I walk the Prague nightclub with apprehension, but a bit of excitement. At the core, I am American and sometimes I take advantage of that fact. I look over a person, feeling I am somewhat superior for having unlimited access to Dreams.
Jesse asked me if I would fight for Korea or the U.S. if they ever went to war with each other. I hastily gave the answer: the U.S., because I’m American. That fact is something I cannot deny any longer and one in which I am not confused about. Being American is a mindset, says Mark Smith, it’s a way of thinking. My parent’s thought enough to know that they wanted me to be American: to have the full right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness; to have unlimited access to education, opportunities, and privileges that their own country could not give them, even through they believed in their country to the core of their existence. They sacrificed the humiliation, isolation, and hard-earned title of immigrants to ensure my liberty and happiness. My family dreams for me, about me, and through me. The see the American Dream manifest itself every time a barrier they could not cross has been penetrated by me. This gives me Pride, but a distant sorrow lingers for I know the chance of their situation changing is minimal. They have to stay where they’re at so I can excel, at least for the moment. They are entitled to it, but they choose to live it through us.

Prague's Charm and Venom

Two cities I've always wanted to visit. Every American can say that! The nature of today's blog will be somewhat personal since it reflects two weeks of stored memories and experiences. Also the topic and race will come up in the sense of how social constructions are created in post-Communist Slavic countries.

First, the Czech Republic is a country of ten million, bastardized by generations of fighting, imperialism and usurpation (Hitler's Sudetenland). Czechs are thus, very nationalistic and homogeneous, as would be expected. There exists many minority groups, the largest being the Roma (gypsies), Ukrainians, and Vietnamese. The recession has caused unease among racial tensions. A recent NY Times article states that 66 percent of Czechs did not want to live next to a Vietnamese and the government started a program to repatriate immigrant workers back to their home country, giving then $700 and a one-way airline ticket. About 2000 workers have taken up this offer, but the rest prefer to stay and ride it out.

The Czech Republic was part of the Hapsburg empire then split into former Czechoslovakia after WWI. After Hitler annexed the country after claiming the Sudetenland as an integral part of Germany, it stayed under the control of the Germans until WWII ended. Then it was a free-liberal democracy for a few decades, until it went under Soviet satellite rule until Communism's demise in 1989. To repeat nonetheless, Czechs have a strong national identity through their history.

Now, stepping aside from history, I will get personal. I had an identity crisis for the past three days. A large part of this experience comes from visiting the gay clubs. First since not many Czechs speak English, communication is not an option. Wherever I go, I try not to let my tokenization affect my behavior or attitude, but for the first time, I felt very vulnerable not being able to fit in. My exoticism turned to isolationism! Nonetheless, I met Benjamin, a cute doctor from LA who travels to Europe several times a year to experience the gay scene. A graduate of USC, he practices internal medicine and travels a lot on his free time.

When I got lost, I met Laurance, a Swedish family doctor, to whom I asked directions to Valentino, the oldest gay club in Prague. He was just as lost as I was so we walked together talking about America's crumbling health care system and how taking a Swedish model may help. The Swedes always stay out of trouble!

For two nights straight, I came home and cried. I shed infrequent tears, but those two nights were tears collected through months of pain and loneliness. I think of Mr. X and Y from time to time, but I wasn't ready then. Maybe I'm ready now?

Perriello, Polis, Schock.....First day of travel to Paris

Damn. Jared Polis, Aaron Shock, and Tom Perriello were featured in this month's American Prospect as emerging leaders. Schock, at 27, is deemed a future candidate for higher office in the Republican pary, kind of like Bobby Jindal. All three are amazing, I wish I can have the drive and dream each candidate posseses.

I took the Foreign Service Officer exam Monday. I bombed the essay portion on urbanization's affect on human behavior. Next time, no brainstorming. I'm almost certain I didn't pass it because of the essay section. It was a good learning experience though, and a practice test for future exams.

I'm up at 3am updating my blog because I have so much racing through my noggin: my Brazil essay I still need to finish, how the heck I'm going to get around in Paris since Raphael seems to be in and out in the few days I'm there!

My summer reading books: Dreams from my Father by Obama and Gandhi's autobiography: My Experiments with Truth. So where do I go from here?

I have what seems like three options if GU doesn't work out. First is to defer USC for a year and try to find a job with Sen. Patty Murray, the Gov, or Sen. Cantwell in D.C. or WA. I've submitted resumes so we'll see...

The second choice: Go to USC if I get a good financial aid package. Do I though? Probably not.


The third option is to finish one last quarter in the fall, take a job in Olympia as an aid while applying to grad school, studing Korean, and taking the FSOT again.

Another option is for me to move to D.C. and look. Very expensive ;) Either way I plan to apply to another five schools, the State Dept and White House internships (though I need to find a paying job to pay back my loans), and send out resumes to Olympia and the Hill. All in all though, my short-term plan is still Master's, then Foreign Service for a few years (all the while investing in the up and coming stock market!)The remarkable American laizzes-faire system can work it out. Capitalism and nationalism is what this American's maade up. I need funds to have a viable political life unfortunately :(

OR....I can jump on a campaign. The Mayoral race is heating UP!!! Lord, please guide me, my life.

Few days....few months?

I'm back! It's been a while. Today, Justice Sonia Sotomayor was elected as the nation's first Hispanic Supreme Court justice, and third women to serve on the highest court. There was a lot of buzz surrounding her, but I was not too caught up on the frontrunners to know enough about them.

Given America's shifting demographics, appointing Sotomayor is an added bonus on top of her diverse experiences on the Appeals and Curcuit court. I texted Antonia this morning to tell her (since she is an aspiring Latina judge) and she was elated! It's mesmerizing to think the hot-button issues of today: immigration, gay rights, climate change, education, and healthcare will see it's place upon her lap. Her humble roots inspire me her connectedness with her culture allows younger Latino/as to aspire after her.

North Korea conducted its second nuclear test. According to Dean Gallucci, they want two things: a closer seat in Washington to appease itself as a "legitimate" regime, and for economic and social incentives. I side with Myung-baks tough-luck policy on North Korea. After Roh's death and the new bombings within days of each other, Korea is uptight and axtiously awaiting the almost lifeless UN resolutions to pass through the security council. It's truly a shame that he had to carry so much burden.

One thing Dr. Gallucci said will always remain with me. Advocating Korea on behalf of America. As an American, I often lose sight that my first priority and objective is protecting America and Americans. It's good to have ethnic pride, but not at the expense of the nation and the people that fought for my rights to live with life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness ( I love Will Smith!!). The cultural distinction between my mom and I serves avery fine line. As an American herself, she seldom sees herself as one, because of the anguish and hardnesss this country has imposed on her with her limited language and opportunities. Still, she's becoming more American daily: as she goes to school with access to financial aid, as her and I speak about our values and why she immigrated here, and mostly to see her aspire to what she wants to be. Only America gives her that opportunity in an unlimited way.

I have my goals set high. Bill Clinton talks about the intricacies of living in D.C.: his access to Senator Fulbright and the Foreign Relations Commmittee, his journey through Student government while a student of my future school, the Edmund Walsh School of Foreign Service, and the laughs and loves he encounters daily through his willingness to live life to the fullest each day.

Mother's Day

What did I learn today? To see beyond and see the larger picture.

Joy, Peter and I practiced our instruments: cello, violin and alto saxophone. Then we performed hymnal 304 in front of the congregation. It's been a year since I've played in front of the members of Lamb's Gate Church, but the same faces smiled warmly back at me. I'm starting to see the pastor as a human. As one, he makes mistakes. So I move on, pressing on towards the goal that now lies before me. I performed for my mom and grandmother but before I put mouth to reed, I said a quick prayer up to heaven.

My friend said to look in the mirror today. I look and I see a young man who has been brought well due to the tenacity and compassion of a tremendous mother. Four in the morning she wakes to pray and her prayers do not cease until her cup has been filled. To see faith rise through the flames makes one believe. To see my mother be consistent through thick and thin, with whatever is handed to her, it makes me believe that a higher power exists that's watching over us. To me, it's embodied in the character of Christ, but to others, He/She manifests through the same faith my mother has in Christ. To my anchor, my mom, thank you.

Religiosity

I just watched Elizabeth Edwards' interview with Oprah. What was the one thing I was thinking about during the entire interview? Please try to be honest with yourself. Most of the things Elizabeth said were how she felt, but didn't reflect reality. To say, "she's not a part of my or my family's life" is a bit naive. I have half-brothers and sisters somewhere and I don't deny them. Yet, I sympathize with her. I know where she's coming from.

What makes this thing inside humans stir? To be unfaithful, is it mostly reactionary to stress and wanting an escape, or is it just lust? Before, I would have categorized it as just lust, but I'm not in the shoes of a very powerful and constantly stressful man. I'm reluctant what I write on this blog and there are things I do not share. That's appropriate. Still, I want to divulge on religion today.

Why is it that view my world around race? Simple. The elected doesn't properly represent the elector. The UN states that in a legitamate democracy, the racial makeup of the electorate must match that of the elected. The opening of the Supreme Court has some people (liberal and conservative) uptight about the appointment. It will probably be a women: but a women of color, or better yet, a women of color and a lesbian? Will that satisfy the demographics of Hispanics, blacks, native americans, and asian americans who claim half the the U.S. population by 2025? We're not there yet.

On the flipside, would I want an academically challenged person, who happens to be a person of color to be representing me? (Maybe if their heart's bigger than their mouth) No, I wouldn't.

So I'm all for affirmative action until qualified people of color being to rise up in government, but when an estimated ten percent (Kinsey scale) of our population is gay, fifty percent are women, and almost 40 percent are racial minorities, yet only two of 8 are either of those, democracy needs a bigger voice.

Sorry, off topic...again. Religion. My definition of religion is a set of beliefs that sets a foundation for a person's life and allows them to find common ground with another group of individuals. So religion can be good if used for human advancement, but faith is even better. When religion collaborates with our values, we get mixed results. We get politics. When faith mixes with values, you get human advancement. Faith is the belief in things yet hoped for, according to the Bible. This saying is timeless. Religion stymies the possibility of hope. Specifically, fundamentalism stops dialogue. I like fundamentalism in the sense that it doesn't skew things: beliefs, virtues, a value system. But it must not stymie others', and religion, as history has shown, tends to do just that. I can talk about this for hours so lets move on.

I leave to NY and DC Monday night on a red eye. I meet Osley, Adam, Dean Gallucci, Carlata and IDF for a week of mayhem. Potlatch, Congressmen, Pentagon, Georgetown, NY (which I haven't been to since being born there) is a lot to digest, but I better get used to it. Today is beautiful, tomorrow will be even better!

The Emerald City....freakin Pakistan!

I'm back in Seattle and it's bitter-sweet. Bitter because I left the sun and great friends, sweet because I'm home and with great friends. I guess that cancels out.

Today, I wrote a formal apology to the McNair staff for my conduct over the past year. Because of my carelessness and lack of focus, I lost the fellowship I had worked two years to obtain. I have thought if over the past week and I have on other to blame besides myself. What have I learned?

Humans rights is a policy issue that I'm very passionate about, including gay rights. My academic interests do not cover intensive research full-time. I like "researching" but not for the sake of researching, rather,to solve an issue ASAP. Last, like Pastor Richard said yesterday, there's a choice between being humble and accepting the fact that you screwed up. Only if you choose the latter will real transformation begin.

On that matter, I visited two churches yesterday: Lamb's Gate (where my uncle is a minister) and Bethany Community Church in Magnolia. Both are not fully gay-accepting churches, but both serve a community function. On that premise, I am able to visit and appreciate the churches. In contrast, both are not ethnically diverse and doesn't portray the true demographics of Seattle nor the changing demographics of our great nation. If transformation doesn't being in the niches of church/school/social communities, then we really can't expect or complain about injustices. There's a Bibilical saying, "whoever is faithful with little will be faithful with much" and vice versa. If we aren't transparent with ourselves and the reality of our demographics, race relations don't have prospects of easing up.

A good example of this is the current Taliban vs. Pakistani conflict in Malakand, the northwestern province of Pakistan. This is an inter-ethnic issue where Islamic militants (under Sufi Muhammadi) want a government under Sharia (Islamic law). The inter-ethnic issues fall where Pushtan tribes (large makeup of the Taliban) face more secular, technocratic elites like Zardari in Islamabad. More so, Pakistan's antipathy toward India further exacerbates the issue of priorities by the Pakistani army. The governemnt, by all indication, is on the brink of collapse. Nawaz Sharif needs to get in and tone it down a bit, and Zardari needs to let go of some of his ego and allow a power-share between him and Sharif, whose influence is enormous around the country, including the Taliban and Al-Qaeda.

America is concerned. Concerned that Al-Qaeda or the Taliban may get hands on nuclear weapons. This will probably only happen if the army defects and sides with the militiants (which doesn't seem likely). Either way, we're being cautious, rightfully so on that matter.

Personally, I should be getting ready for my interview with the Pride Foundation Saturday. I leave for D.C. on Monday (I don't even know where I'm going to stay!) and I hope to visit a few friends in NYC while I'm there. My meeting with Dr. Gallucci is on the 13th, so I have two days to kick it in NY, then comes crunch time with IDF, oh yah!

I've started seeing someone...........more to be published later, but he's centered on his faith and we went to church together Sunday. The reality though....we both don't do long distance.

Also, a 14 percent tuition hike is ridiculous when for the first time, the state is not matching the hike with funding. That means students suffer and loans will rise. The fact is that higher education is not a top priority for the state. The solution? I don't know if there's a simple one. Washington voters are contradictory. They'll pass legislation but won't put their money where their mouth is a lot of the time. This cannot continue, but if it does, we need to start advertising the prospects for social security and the best nation on earth seeping into possibly the double-digits in education over the next decade. Baby boomers, here they come!

Last day....sad news :(

I made the mistake of taking my research too lightly and I've ended up losing the research fellowship I came with. I have to pay back $3500. I don't mind paying the money back, but I was surprised by the process by which it happened. In the back of my mind, I knew things would come to this, but on the other hand, I am relieved.

Osley says,"don't judge people by your standards, judge them by theirs." I'll let it be, and let go of hard feelings. On the other hand, I'm in my last few hours in Rio. I'm excited to go back to Seattle in a few hours. I fly from here to Texas, eight hours. Then I have a four hour layover and I'm off to the Emerald City.

According to BBC, Kaseong talks between North and South America have failed. The reason seems to the lack of funds from Myung bak's administration and their insistence on nuclear disarmament. Kaesong imports cheap labor from the North and employs 38,000 individuals. The wages go directly to the government. So would there be an incentive to work hard? I doubt it.

Zuma is in and a hole new South Africa is about to burgeon. Though ballots continue to be counted, the ANC seems to have won a parliamentary majority. In Cape Town, the DA fared better but ANC has sweeped rural SA in places like Eastern Cape and Free State.

Yesterday, Marcio, Amy's long-time friend, took me to a virgin beach (where he got his first kiss!) in Barra. It was a specatcular view and very few people were there during the sunset. Then, we drove up a mountain in Tijuca and he showed me a view of the entire city. Though we met for only a few hours, it was a great experience, definitely the local experience I would like to have next time I visit.
Ok, I'll update again at the airport. See you soon buddies!

SA Elections, and the New York Crew

Ubuntu!

South Africa just had their elections. The ANC is expected to win a parliamentary majority, but the Cope and DA may begin real party politics in SA. The elections will hold crucial for the region, especially Zimbabwe, where politics have really hit the sinkhole after Mugabe and Tvsangarai have come into power. The inflation is a couple hundred percent or so and the minority farmers (white) are losing lots of land through Mugabe's technocratic regime. Nelson is 90 and Tutu is getting there. I don't admire Zuma's character, not his politics so much, so I wonder when the next generation of leaders will emerge. Especially with such high racial and economic tensions since the downturn, I won't be surprised if crime rates spike in the next few months. Mi amor, South Africa....

South and North Korea are having talks in Kaesong. The North probably just wants more concessions (which it won't get) from Myung bak's administration. I wonder how long they can hold this up? Nuclear capability will be a while, but the threat is there.

Osley, Carlata and Adam left today. What an afternoon! Carlata got an oil massage from a hunk, Osley bought souvenirs that can last him years, and Adam got a bit more of a tan. Osley and Adam invited me to Brooklyn so I may stop by when I get to NYC in May. Glen is Olsey's close friend. When I get to Amsterdam, Glen has a few apartments, so Osley invited me to stay with them since Glen goes back to Holland next week. Both Carlata and Osley are a terrific crew to be around and I enjoyed their humor, wisdom and fun for the past three days....especially when Osley speaks to others with a full-blown Jamaican accent!

We watched the fireworks on Lagoa (the lake) yesterday night. It rained all day so the sewers were overflooding. By the end of the night, I was ankle-deep in sewage water trying to find Ramon, Jai, and Yohan. The view was spectacular!

Ok, back to my research, poster presentation is due in one week! God bless, thanks for reading. Boa noite!

Christ the Redeemer, Research Crunch and an Awkward Massage...

Corcovado!!!

Finally, I went to see my Savior, Christ the Redeemer. What a spectacle. Even though I see Him every now and then when I travel to Urca or out of Ipanema, finally being up to see one of the Seven Wonders was a transcendent feeling. The figure is reflective of the impact Christianity has on Brazil. Around seventy percent of Brazilians claim the religion and of those, thirty percent are Evangelical Protestants. Yet, sexuality is more fluid here than the U.S. since it plays a stronger cultural role in Brazilian society.

I just have to make two points about what happened today. First, Ahmadinajad did not represent the Arab League nor the state of Iran well when he blamed Israel as racist. To be in a setting under the UN unbrella is a privelege. As the leader of Iran, he is already up against giants. If he wants the EU and the West to listen, then he needs to allow others to want to hear what he has to say, even if it's conflictual.

Second, in South Africa, the ANC is up against the DA in the most pivitol election since the election of Nelson Mandela. What's at stake? The policy of Black Economic Empowerment, the party that Neslon so painstakingly built over decades, and maybe the first white leader since the end of Apartheid. Yet, the DA is ethnically diverse and carries with it a spectrum of viewpoints and opinions. People point to the corruption in the ANC; Zuma is one example. The election is two days away and it may be a surprise of the DA pulls it off, since Neslon Mandela has now made a public appearance backing Zuma.

Strange what happens on the beach. I go there to read one of my research books and low and behold, I come across three European women topless in the gay section of the beach. Two meters away, I can here three English speakers laughing their faces off so I lean closer to see if any are American. Turns out they are!: Osley a Jamaican American, Carleta from D.C. and Adam, a struggling actor/personal trainer from Manhatten.

Adam, a modelesce twenty-seven year-old takes all his clothes off and lays on the sand to tan his buttocks while Osley and Carleta make fun of him. After twenty minutes, Adam stands up and in an instant, catches every gay/straight person's attention on the beach because he has a sock covering his private area.

Then..Osley, Carleta and I break out into laughter after locals chastise him to put his clothes back on. This is the crew who are making my last days in Rio a joy. Carleta and Olsey are wise, seasoned and hilarious to be around. Adam is funny, insecure, and attracts just about any person that walks by him, but his language inablity leaves its mark on the local women ;)

I got the first massage of my life here and it was a bit strange. I go to Farme beach and make an appointment with Nelson Mandella, a local massuese. Then comes my turn and he gives a great oiled massage for about an hour, commenting on my body now and then. Inside, I am a bit flattered because Neslon is attractive and seems genuine, but then....

He pulls down my sunca (bathing suit) and starts to massage my butt. I lay facedown down, naive, and think this is strange, but then again, beleive it was part of the massage process in Brazil. After he finishes, I go to pay him, and his friend comes over and introduce himself to me. He says people are talking about my butt. I feel awkward at this point, so I make my way hurridly out of the beach to my apartment. I later find out this is not normal and not part of the process. lol! I was a bit flattered, but next time, I think I'll take one in closed quarters.

Lastly, it's cruch time! I have this week to wrap up my research and finish my poster outline for my presentation on the 1st of May.

Palestinian Peace, Semi Closeted...

As a Christian who always searches, I often wonder about Palestine. With Korean ancestry, I also sympathize with the Palestians since Korea has a history of colonization and suppression of national identity. Resolution 242 and 338 were passed by the UN after the six-day war and the Camp David Accords. Hamas, the Palestian Sunni extremeist group led by Khaled Mashal spends the majority of their revenues on social services. When Jimmy Carter met with him in April the 1967 borders were agreed upon to bring a hunda, yet the paramilitary wing of Hamas led by Ismail Hamiyeh will never agree to Israel's existence. Will Netanyahu, who was almost assasinated by Mashal, be willing to agree to these boundaries? The real question is if Israel will ever allow Muslims to return to the 1967 boundaries, inverting the majority from Jew to Muslim. Seems unlikely given Israel's history and position in the Middle East.

Jerusalem is holy land for the Abrahamic faiths and it should stay that way. It's quartered off, "shared", and quite practically, it's working better now than it has for centuries. To wrap it up, Palestian territory that was taken by force, according to UN Resolutions 242 an 338, must be returned. This means that the 1967 boundaries of Gaza, the West Bank and the Golan Heights should be given back to Palestinains. It's a far-fetched idea, but people like Jimmy Carter has tried his whole life to bring some sort of tranquility in the region. Hamas has lots of friction within its party and with Fatah, yet I think there's a chance Hamas will bring a dovish hawk to the table for negotiations. If my enemy tried to kill me, I'd be angry too, but if the people mean that much to you where all of your revenue is spent on aquiring social capital, then it's not a far-fetched idea to see if you can meet somewhere towards the middle for starters.

Personally, I've been cooped up in the apartment thinking about where to begin my writing. Many of the books and journals I still need are UW restricted. BUT...I will get it done, and done well :)

Ramon is at the Latin American World Economic Forum as a greeter. He gets to meet CEOs and diplomatic bigwigs. I don't know if he's truly for the working people, he seems like a modern Brazilian capitalist. Yet, as a gay man, he must have it in his heart to seek forms of justice for the marginalized, even if it is only for his own people.

Olivier's buttocks honestly look no different than before he had the surgery. He feels bette though so I guess it worked. He doesn't seem like the type with an issue of image, so I think it boosted his self-esteem a bit and gave him what he wanted. I personally would never have plastic surgery, but for some people, it seems almost recreational. Forty-five percent of the clients, he told me, were male. Maybe that's an international figure?

I finally got to see the side of Brazil I've been waiting to see, Zona Norte, the working areas. The minimum wage is around $200 and people from the North and West will travel up to two hours in the morning to do service jobs in the South. Ramon tells me maids even have maids here which touches upon the heirarchical nature of Brazilian soceity. On the bus, I went past blotches of favelas. As I arrived at Raphael's home, the other side of the street was a favela. He told me not to think of going there. We traveled to the mall and met Charles, his boyfriend. A former military guy, Charles is a late-bloomer who was almost married. He doesn't like PDA and lives a semi-closeted life like many gays in Rio. We went to a store and Charles spotted a couple. He told me he saw the guy at a party the other night, exclusively for gays. The implications of being semi-closted has it affects on HIV and AIDs. Like the states, heterosexual women aquiring aids from their parters who have sex with men (MSM) have become the largest growing group new HIV/AIDS cases.


Lastly, before I take a shower and crash in bed, I want to thank everyone for reading this self-absorbed blog ;) Since my camera was stolen, I don't know if I will buy another one here, but I will make sure I get some photos of my killer tan and post it on this blog (on top of Christ the Redeemer I have to visit before I leave). That's what happens when one of the Seven Wonders sits in your backyard, you tend to forget. Night everyone!


P.S. I just ate a mango the size of a small basketball. If you ever come here, acai is mandatory to try.

meaning of Easter

The past two or three days have been hectic. Relaxed, but hectic. I'm on about three hours of sleep for the past two. Tomorrow is Easter and I am headed to church with Raphael, a good friend I've met. Actually, the first friend I met here. His family and he are very close, so I hope to spend the day with them! Olivier is coming back tomorrow and I want to take him with me to church, but I´m thinking he's still very sore from the surgery and he can't sit on his buttock for two solid weeks.

I called mom and grandma today and they were so excited to talk to me that I didn't really have a say in the conversation! Mom says her studies are going well. I hope she likes the netbook I got her.....

India's election starts this week. The world's largest democracy is going to see an influx of 100 million voters, mostly from the rural areas on top of their general voting population of 700 milliion. It'll probably be a Singh, since the younger Gandhi is still in training. I wonder how well the tata nana is selling? Better put a carbon tax on that India!

Ramon. What an interesting character. He graduated high school at 15 and is a first-year law student at 20 after completing a business degree. Motivated, but naive. Young, and very ambitious. I visited Urca to visit him and his friend Rita and actually got my camera, ipod, and cellphone stolen at a mom-and-pop restaurant. One of the safest places in Rio? Hmmmm.....:) Yet the town was very quiet and cozy and I met lots of friendly locals who think kimchee is a disgusting dish! Shame on them.

So the meaning of Easter. One word. Grace.

I think living a life where many Christians question the paradoxical nature of a homosexual Christian can be difficult. Many gay Christians, like any other marginalized group, seem to have limited options for their social and spiritual life. Almost like a fork in the road, it seems like we have the option of denial (Exodus ministries) or full acceptance, (uninhibited partying and a constant denial towards questioning faith) , but not much in between. This question is very dense indeed, but what I know is that God has never stopped loving his creations. I believe God has a special place in his heart for gays, and He yearns for me at least, to search even deeper in my faith for an unconditional love I have yet to find.

"It's for freedom that Christ has set us free." Before, I used this quote in a yearning to come out. Now, this quote pierces me like a double-edged sword. Freedom is never free and I have to earn and yearn for it. Mandela did it, Gene Robinson is doing it, and Billy Graham would still stand on that pulpit if he had the physical capacity to do to help someone find their truth. So the meaning of Easter is Grace, but with Grace comes a desire to live out one's faith. Fear can hold me for a second, but only for a second.

Plastic Surgery, Olivier's teeth and Brazilian Civil Unions

My friend Olivier is a unique character. First, I don't know of anyone at the age of 25 getting plastic surgery...on his buttocks. It's quite a lot of money, $10,000 dollars to be exact. He says his friends get plastic surgery, and this would be an opportune time to get it in Brazil. The procedure will take a day, but he will need to heal for over a month.

Second, he became a lawyer at the age of 21 since in France, like in Brazil, you go straight to law school after you graduate H.S. His salary? Around $8,000 per month or over $100,0000 a year in Luxembourg. To make a six figure salary at 21 is very impressive. Yet, money only goes so far and if you start worrying about how small your buttocks are while making that much cash, you must be bored with work.

Overall, he is a very nice person with a good heart. He accidentally threw his Invisiline braces in the trash after we left a cafe and while we were walking he shouted, "Shoot, I forgot my teeth!" and ran back to find the braces. That made my night!

So Obama is wraping up in Turkey. I am grateful by his comment," The U.S. will never be at war with Islam." That soundbite sums up the reason why he's my president. His dovish, benign, yet pragmatic approach to Foreign Policy is going to serve the U.S. well in the years to come. The BBC is right in reporting that Obama would win any election in any country currently. He's off to a good start and I hope it continues for some time.

I'm almost done with postcards, ready to be shipped out! Even on the beach I am working: writing postcard and reading about queer spaces and the sex industry.

On that note, one state in Brazil recognizes Civil Unions--Rio Grade do Sul. There are no laws against/nor for gay marriage, but Civil Union legislation has been on the table of the legislature since 1995. I think before civil unions, which benefits a small portion of the wealthy gay population, child protection laws need to be set in place. Salvador has the largest child prostitution rink all of South and Latin America. Jin and I were walking by his apartment and we met a relatively young German guy who had come to Rio for the sex tourism. This, sadly, is very common and young boys and girls and thrust into prostituion (some young as 8 and 9) due to poverty. What's more, the beggers outside of banks and heavy tourism areas pay the local mafia as much as $2000 reals a month ($1000) to beg outside these locations. What's sadder is that young women often rent babies from the local favelas, drug them heavily, then beg with the child in her arms.

Sorry to say this, but then, the Western tourist comes along, hands over $50 reals and says that God has blessed him, so he wants to give back. This isn't to be sarcastic, I have a guilt trip every time I pass by a women with a child, but I have to be smart enough not to perpetuate the cycle of poverty for a minute of moral euphoria. It's like giving a fisherman lots of fish, but no fishing pole. Yet again, this is the case and not the exception in much of the developing world. So if you see a child who's begging, be wise enough to think that there might be a pimp not far away and if he looks hungry, have the decency to buy him some food.

"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

(Matthew 25:37-40)

Day 13?!: North Korea, faith, and Brazilian food

Have I been here 13 days already? Absurd :)

First thing on my mind: North Korea. They just launched what experts call the Taepodong 2, or a long-range ballistic missile that could possibly reach Hawaii and Alaska. It failed, landing in the Pacific Ocean, but the implication is another nuisance that should be seriously checked. Kim Jong Il is transitioning his power, likely very soon. What's more important is that UN resolutions will not accomplish much if the U.S. can't get the North back on the table for the six-party talks. Japan's agitated and has antimissile rockets stationed in the North. Lee Myung Bak is the type that won't tolerate Kim Jong Il's illegitamate demands, but it seems he has no choice if pressured enough by the U.S. and Japan.

Obama quoted, "pragmatism" to set the tone for discussions, saying it must resume diplomacy talks. I don't know too much about Stephen Bosworth, but I hope he can do better than Christopher Hill or Gallucci. They did what they could. Still, the North needs fuel, food, and it wants a seat in Washington. It doesn't help to have both China and Russia's veto power in the Security Council either, but if China gets pressured enough by the Western powers, it may have no choice but to concede to yet another resolution on paper.

Dean Gallucci got back to me and agreed to have a meeting with me when I'm in D.C. He may do that for everyone, but I probably got his attention with Secretary Locke, Congressman Honda and Senator Shin. Especially since Secretary Locke is a rockstar in China, his ties will prove crucial for U.S./China relations in the upcoming Obama years. I didn't know this, but Sarkozy met with Lula in Brazil for a possible spot on the UN Security Council. I heard this, but it wouldn't surprise me since Brazil has the resources and future alternative energy investments.

There're more leftists than I though in Latin and South America. It's good we have Obama over McCain; a dove over a hawk is always better at the bargaining table. I wonder why Che is so popular in Latin America? ;) Is the world becoming leftist or centrist?

I had a conversation with with Olivier, a French student from the London School of Economics planning his J.D. at Northwestern. The French are Centrist under Sarkozy (which is extremely liberal for us), the Israelis are Centrist-right under Netanyahu's Likud party, and even Obama is more Centrist (which isn't a surprise, thanks Doris Kearns Goodwin!) that orignally thought.

On Israel though, Resolutions 242 and 338, passed by the UN Security Council after the 6-days war in 1967 and after the Yom Kippur War in 1973, respectively, doesn't seem like it will be implemented further under Clinton and Obama. Afghanistan, Iran, North Korea, and Iraq is a handful, and who hates the Jews anymore? Realistically though, much of the Arab war does want a peace plan and Israel's legitimacey is yesterday's news. So what's holding us up? AIPAC and other Jewish lobbies are very strong, yes. Hezbollah and Hamas are hated by Western powers but are legitimate in much of the Arab world. I think with Obama's full agenda within the Middle East, Israel is on the backburner as long as they keep out of attackiing innocents again.

So what have I accomplished in 13 days in Rio? Not as much as I intended :) Sorry Ashley. I will spend the next two weeks in the apartment I share with Christiano, the editor for the "Rio for Partygoers" guide. It's ironic that the partygoer king lives with a 21 year old, non-partygoer. Don't mistake me, I like to enjoy my days out, but I'll save it for the weekend. Oh, this weekend is Easter?

I went to a Portuegese mass today at 5pm. It was packed and since it was palm Sunday, there were commemorative palms for each churchgoer. I wonder how I would be if I didn't have faith? I probably would've come out earlier and would have had lots of sex by now. I still believe sex should be shared by two people in love within a committed, God-fearing relationship. Would Christians accept me if said out loud that homosexuals could be God-fearing and committed too? It may be too early to hope for that but I guess hope is what we wish for with things to come. Oh, what's the answer? I say yes.

What's more, I wake up in the middle of the night and wonder what I'm doing here on earth, with God that seems so elusive to me now, more than ever before. Can I really say my faith has gotten stronger? My prayers are more concise and less ostentacious. What do I mean? I mean that I don't pray for everyone's salvation in the same way I used to. Why? I asked my mother once, "if you were born in a Muslim household in the Middle East, what would you be?" Then she said something that surprised me, though it makes sense now. She said she'd be Muslim, but quickly added, "thank God I'm not." Is my mom wrong or was I wrong asking that question? I would say that it is understandable and realistic my mother would answer that way. It's also a legitimate question that humans should ask themselves. What matters though, that us, as humans are not God, and that question of salvation belongs to Him alone. I'm comfortable enough to say that :)

I bought some funny postcards. You reading the blog should anticipate the card coming in the mail. If you forgot to email me your address, please don so in the comment box. What do I love about Rio? Beggers don't inundate me since they think Chinese people are stingy, there are dozens of varieties of fruit I have left to try. Fruta de Conde (aka Custard Apple Ugly), coconut water, mamao (papaya), acaia (smoothie with proteins, Vitamin E, fiber, minerals and a natural cholesterol controller), watermelon, and mangos are staples now.

One word: PRATO FREITO. The daily dish of rice, beans, chicken, potatoes and salad is the BOMB. Eaten by 150 million Brazilians for lunch everyday, this healthy dish is a good balance of fiber, carb, protein, and fat.

Since it's Sunday, I decided to take a break from my literature reviews and took a dive in the trash-infested waters of Ipanema (it's not that bad) and got a nice tan/sunburn in my black speedos.

Stay tuned bloggers and friends and leave a comment or two if you feel like it......

One thing I forgot......

STAY TUNED FOR PICTURES! beach volleyball, Ipanema, Tijuca, Christ the Redeemer...the list goes on.

Also, I just learned Dr. Gallucci from Georgetown was the top negotiator in the 1994 North Korean nuclear crisis. That on top of Dr. Cha and Madeline Albright makes me want to go there even more. Please pray for me, I appreciate all the support I can get.

Day 8

I've finally found an apartment that I can stay at until April 20th. I spent the day helping Jin move, which got ugly because he was exploited by the landlord. She rented an apartment with two room and and a small storage area she uses as a room. Thus, the unlucky tourists have to pay for the entire apartment while she lives in her closet without paying rent and acting like the landlady.

My interaction with her was a bit more down to earth. It turns out she and her brother are both gay and from a poorer region of Brazil. She must have had it hard because now she is on drugs and very emaciated. Jin really shook her up after she demanded he pay for a doornob that was broken since his arrival. I hope the best for her, she was a very sweet girl and deep down, apart from all the ugliness, I could sense sense she had a good spirit.

Besides that, I've spent the day worrying about how I'm going to get this research methodology together. I need to conduct a more thourough literature review and turn that in by Friday. I have set up a few meetings with local gays but they will only provide me with the wealthy perspective of gay life. I need to befriend more local gays that come from the suburbs an favelas.

Tomorrow, I finally plan to send out postcards and a pink bikini for Jason, our IDF Director! lol. I just have to add: interest rates and bigger spending, especially from the EU isn't realistic. Merkel and Sarkozy are already critisizing the summit before its began. We need oversight of banks and institutions asap and hopefully that and a blueprint for better global economic oversight can somewhat be established. Man, Michelle Obama is smokin.....

Good night everyone and God bless.

Beach volleyball, Jin, and Street Children

Thanks again for following my blog, all y'all!: Emma, Jin, Susanna, and Justin the man, Eddie, Sandon, Allison, and Meagan! I just got back from two hours of beach volleyball with Jin, a Korean Canadian hunk I randomly asked on the street to borrow his phone. He bought me dinner (older Korean thing to do) and we talked about the Japanese Brazilian population in Sao Paulo, the largest Japanese diaspora in the world. Korean and Japanese live harmoniously together in the industrial districts. It's interesting that I met a Korean Brazilian on the DMZ who emigrated to Brazil fifty-five years ago after the Korean War, then returned to South Korea only to see her hometown in North Korea through the barbed wires that compose the demilitarized zone on the 38th parallel.

Anyway, Jin is derivitive investor from Columbia University attracted here by the ethanol alternative energy boom going on. With Obama's $150 billion investment in alternative energy and green-coller jobs over his first term, plus the world's line-up for Brazilian ethanol (from sugar cane productions), this area for investments is a gold mine in the next five to ten years.

Ok, so do I even have a personal life here? I have for the last few days, but I plan to finally visit my research facility and get started on my studies. Senator Shin cancelled for May 1st because he has to travel back to Korea, so Gene is probably scurring fast to find a replacement. I wanted to impress/educate the Great Senator on gay issues, specifically around HIV/AIDs in Rio. I guess I can forward him a copy of my paper once complete.

Oh! So how is it living in Ipanema, you ask? It's FANTASTIC! Besides the language barrier, people are chillaxed like in Cape Town. It's really the bourgies who look like they have something stuck up their....but besides that, what really saddens me is the abject poverty that many children go through.

According to Inciardi, there are around 2-3 thousand children begging on the streets of Rio. Salvador has the largest child prostitution ring in South America, so it's a bigger concern there, but Rio's children (like all Brazilian children) are the most marginalized group in Rio due to their vulnurability. At least the gays have some dough, children here are tossed around. This is why many become hostile and violent, because they have to steal to survive. Brazil's government has tried to pass policy protecting street children, but the lobby's don't give a shit about them.

Many children have pimps who exploit them, kind of like the gypsies in Europe, or better yet, the street children from Slumdog Millionaire. They form networks where eighty or ninety percent of the funds goes to the pimp (or their parents), and they are forced to beg. On the beach yesterday, I say a girl no older than four, going from one European girl to the next, digging in the sand as a gesture of innocence. Not far was her mother, guiding her other children to do the same. At first, you want to blame the parent, but they too seem to be out of options and if they want to provide for their family, this seems to be the one of their only options. Or, they can sell small commodities, which is more sustainable then begging. I usually try not to give money to beggers, and would rather buy a handmade wrist-band since it's harder work than begging.

Before I go to bed, I just want to say that I've been seeing a lot of attractive people in Rio. I hope to meet someone at church. I'll be praying, and then I'll turn around to see him there , leading the choir in a hymn. After that, he goes home to speak about faith and politics around the dinner table with his family.

Those gym barbies......I'll keep it at that. Hey I can look right! ;) Good night y'all and stay posted!

Transvestites and Ipanema..Day 5

I think the research is going to be more complicated than I thought. A research method seems almost impossible at this point. It will have to be just a paper.

According to my book, there are around 2000-2500 transvestite workers in Rio, mostly in Lapa (a young person's hangout), Copacabana, and el Centro. Eighty percent of transvestis in Rio have HIV/AIDS and also do drugs,mostly cocaine. The typical worker makes an equivalent of $400 U.S. dollars a month and has an average of one client a night, a job paying on par of that of a local part-time clerk. The typical worker has over seventy punture wounds as a result of silicone injections to shape their bodies and breasts. The injections are made by older transvestis who are too old to work.

Ipanema. The beach. Ipanema. The beach.....

Ipanema, specifically post 9 and farme is where barbies (muscled men) hang out to work out, show off, and tan. The locality makes it a hotspot for families, local celebrities, international tourists, and gays to congregate. The girl from Ipanema was made famous here. Calvin Klein has his favorite hangout here.

Besides the beach, the other wonder I've found is the succos, or juices. I grew up eating half a watermelon during the summers since I was two. No joke. Here, it's juice heaven. I had acai, a dark anti-oxident enhanced drink for breakfast, a kiwi joice for brunch, and tangerine juice after my soccer match. Exotic drinks are the norm and milk is rare.

I met a local Korean American from New York. He's a derivitive investor opening a startup with some friends. We make an appointment to play volleyball tomorrow evening. The main Asian groups here are Japanese and Chinese. Thus, to the cariocas, I am either a Japanese or Chinese!

I'll visit my research site tomorrow downtown and try to mingle with the locals as much as I can.

The G20 summit is Tuesday. America, China, Russia and the other powers need to fork it over to the IMF. It's really the last chance for America to try to fix this, as well as the other superpowers. If not, protectionist tariffs are definitiely going up and the poorest countries will suffer the most. We'll see how it plays out during the next few days....

What I really think?.....

So I'll be honest. What do I think of Rio so far? It's not too different from any other city I've been to. Cape Town comes close in terms of vibe and the friendliness of the cariocas (locals). The beach is the hub of Rio and everyone gathers there for recreation, sports,a little suntan and window shopping ;)

Is tourism sustainable here? Thomas, a Belgium friend, T.J., an American, and I were discussing this at 2am yesterday over a hamburger that wasn't cooked all the way. The favelas, or Brazil's version of the ghetto, house one out of every five Brazilians. There is usually little or no running water, sewage, or electricity and many favelas, especially the further you get from the urban centers, are rife with gang warfare. A few nights ago, there was a shooting a few blocks away. According to my friend Jana, police are corrupt in Rio. They will fight the local gangs for power and money. Still, since Lula da Silva came into office, corruption among the police has gone down, but that figure is relative since socioeconomic disparities are tangible, even in Rio.

Taking a taxi to Lapa, or the town center, I ventured into travesti territory. The transvestite sex market is huge in Rio. There are more travestis than miches (male sex workers), and female prostitutes, according to my readings. I was driving by a group of them when one lifted up her shirt to display her merchandise to the cabs! Prostitution is a steady source of income for sex workers and most of them come from the favelas in Zona Norte (northern Rio), Oeste (West) and very poors parts of the country. When Bush mandated Brazil to repudiate the sex industry, Brazil refused, since it is such a life source for many Brazilians, kind of like Mumbai's red light district, or Bankok's sex trade.

Brazil purchased a billion condoms last year to fight STD, AIDS, and other sex-related diseases. They gave them out during Carnival, and will give them out at other major events including the Pride parade. A large portion will also target sex workers. Miches are usually younger boys, 9-17, who have sex to support themselves and their families back in the favelas. They can be found 24/7 in specified cruising areas around Rio and can be armed and dangerous. Like gypsies in Europe, they can form systems around each other and many have pimps that expoit them. It's like playing Russian Roulette once you enter this circle.

Lets get a little personal now. First, I want to say that I have bugbites and it's irritating me as a write. Second, I'm so anxious of how my paper is going to turn out. When I visit Georgetown in May, I want to hand the Dean a copy of my research and say, "this is why you should accept me!" I was waitlisted for their Master's of Science in Foreign Service program. At first, I shook it off, and then after visiting their website, I found out that out of 800-1000 applicant (more this year) they accept 90. Their faculty includes Victor Cha, a researcher I based papers of North/South Korea relations on and Sen. Chuck Hagel just joined the team also! It would be phenomenal to experience the small classes with world-class diplomats and top scholars.

Two days ago, I was accepted into the Unveristy of Southern California's school of public policy and development. The program is ranked in the top seven nationally and student popluation is very diverse, with 38 percent of the students coming from underrepresented backgrounds. They have more foreign students then any other Westcoast university since LA serves as a hub for students coming from the Pacific Rim and Latin America. Also, America Ferrera (Ugly Betty) goes to USC ;) If I choose to go there in the fall, I'm going to contact Congressman Honda to intern with him and/or the Center for Asian Pacific Conflict Resolution.

What am I doing now? I'm going out with Ben and T.J. to Ipanema after breakfast and spending the day reading. BOOOO! Chillax David, you're in Rio.

Day 1: Rio

First, thank you to all those following my blog and research in Rio!

The flight from Seattle to Houston was four hours. From Houston to Sau Paulo was 9 hours. From there to Rio was another 30 minutes. So as you can guess, I was jetlagged once I arrived at my hostel. Yet me being me, I went to the imfamous Copacabana beach and later Ipanema shortly after my arrival. The weather is a sweltering 27-30 centigrade (75-85 degrees) but the air is relatively dry given it's next to a beach. So what is my first impression?

As a non-Portuegese speaker, I felt overwhelmed at the airport. So it didn't come as a surprise that a bagger boy escorted me, quite hastily, to an internet cafe so I could find the address of my hostel. He paid for my internet time wanting a bigger tip. Without a grip on the real currency I tipped him 15 real or about $6, which I wouldn't have done back in Seattle!

People keep asking me why I'm here. There are two reasons: research and the Sun. What is my biggest obstacle? Definitely language. Even if I voluteer at the ABIA (Brazilian Interdisciplinary Association of Aids), language will be a big hurdle. It took me three weeks to edit a revise a IRB with the UW Human Subjects Departmenet and now, because of the language barrier, IRB seems like an unlikely option. How can I make it substansive then?

I'm on my way out to me Raphael, a friend I connected with via couchsufing.com, a social network of international travelers. He is a carioca (local Rio resident) who will get me situated with the local Rio scene. I have many question regarding Rio's gay scene since it the ethos of my research. Gene is putting pressure on this project due to my less-than-perfect research record! So I plan to have my abstract done by Monday, poster and research paper done by April 27th.

P.S. As the cliche goes, the Brazilians are very self-conscious about their appearance-men and women alike! There are cosmetic surgery buses (though I haven't spotted any yet), along the beachfront where surgery is done on the bus, thus giving this city the nickname as the Cosmetic Surgery capital of the world! The men and women are here are attractive, but I hope the beauty is not skin deep...