meaning of Easter

The past two or three days have been hectic. Relaxed, but hectic. I'm on about three hours of sleep for the past two. Tomorrow is Easter and I am headed to church with Raphael, a good friend I've met. Actually, the first friend I met here. His family and he are very close, so I hope to spend the day with them! Olivier is coming back tomorrow and I want to take him with me to church, but I´m thinking he's still very sore from the surgery and he can't sit on his buttock for two solid weeks.

I called mom and grandma today and they were so excited to talk to me that I didn't really have a say in the conversation! Mom says her studies are going well. I hope she likes the netbook I got her.....

India's election starts this week. The world's largest democracy is going to see an influx of 100 million voters, mostly from the rural areas on top of their general voting population of 700 milliion. It'll probably be a Singh, since the younger Gandhi is still in training. I wonder how well the tata nana is selling? Better put a carbon tax on that India!

Ramon. What an interesting character. He graduated high school at 15 and is a first-year law student at 20 after completing a business degree. Motivated, but naive. Young, and very ambitious. I visited Urca to visit him and his friend Rita and actually got my camera, ipod, and cellphone stolen at a mom-and-pop restaurant. One of the safest places in Rio? Hmmmm.....:) Yet the town was very quiet and cozy and I met lots of friendly locals who think kimchee is a disgusting dish! Shame on them.

So the meaning of Easter. One word. Grace.

I think living a life where many Christians question the paradoxical nature of a homosexual Christian can be difficult. Many gay Christians, like any other marginalized group, seem to have limited options for their social and spiritual life. Almost like a fork in the road, it seems like we have the option of denial (Exodus ministries) or full acceptance, (uninhibited partying and a constant denial towards questioning faith) , but not much in between. This question is very dense indeed, but what I know is that God has never stopped loving his creations. I believe God has a special place in his heart for gays, and He yearns for me at least, to search even deeper in my faith for an unconditional love I have yet to find.

"It's for freedom that Christ has set us free." Before, I used this quote in a yearning to come out. Now, this quote pierces me like a double-edged sword. Freedom is never free and I have to earn and yearn for it. Mandela did it, Gene Robinson is doing it, and Billy Graham would still stand on that pulpit if he had the physical capacity to do to help someone find their truth. So the meaning of Easter is Grace, but with Grace comes a desire to live out one's faith. Fear can hold me for a second, but only for a second.