Last day....sad news :(

I made the mistake of taking my research too lightly and I've ended up losing the research fellowship I came with. I have to pay back $3500. I don't mind paying the money back, but I was surprised by the process by which it happened. In the back of my mind, I knew things would come to this, but on the other hand, I am relieved.

Osley says,"don't judge people by your standards, judge them by theirs." I'll let it be, and let go of hard feelings. On the other hand, I'm in my last few hours in Rio. I'm excited to go back to Seattle in a few hours. I fly from here to Texas, eight hours. Then I have a four hour layover and I'm off to the Emerald City.

According to BBC, Kaseong talks between North and South America have failed. The reason seems to the lack of funds from Myung bak's administration and their insistence on nuclear disarmament. Kaesong imports cheap labor from the North and employs 38,000 individuals. The wages go directly to the government. So would there be an incentive to work hard? I doubt it.

Zuma is in and a hole new South Africa is about to burgeon. Though ballots continue to be counted, the ANC seems to have won a parliamentary majority. In Cape Town, the DA fared better but ANC has sweeped rural SA in places like Eastern Cape and Free State.

Yesterday, Marcio, Amy's long-time friend, took me to a virgin beach (where he got his first kiss!) in Barra. It was a specatcular view and very few people were there during the sunset. Then, we drove up a mountain in Tijuca and he showed me a view of the entire city. Though we met for only a few hours, it was a great experience, definitely the local experience I would like to have next time I visit.
Ok, I'll update again at the airport. See you soon buddies!

SA Elections, and the New York Crew

Ubuntu!

South Africa just had their elections. The ANC is expected to win a parliamentary majority, but the Cope and DA may begin real party politics in SA. The elections will hold crucial for the region, especially Zimbabwe, where politics have really hit the sinkhole after Mugabe and Tvsangarai have come into power. The inflation is a couple hundred percent or so and the minority farmers (white) are losing lots of land through Mugabe's technocratic regime. Nelson is 90 and Tutu is getting there. I don't admire Zuma's character, not his politics so much, so I wonder when the next generation of leaders will emerge. Especially with such high racial and economic tensions since the downturn, I won't be surprised if crime rates spike in the next few months. Mi amor, South Africa....

South and North Korea are having talks in Kaesong. The North probably just wants more concessions (which it won't get) from Myung bak's administration. I wonder how long they can hold this up? Nuclear capability will be a while, but the threat is there.

Osley, Carlata and Adam left today. What an afternoon! Carlata got an oil massage from a hunk, Osley bought souvenirs that can last him years, and Adam got a bit more of a tan. Osley and Adam invited me to Brooklyn so I may stop by when I get to NYC in May. Glen is Olsey's close friend. When I get to Amsterdam, Glen has a few apartments, so Osley invited me to stay with them since Glen goes back to Holland next week. Both Carlata and Osley are a terrific crew to be around and I enjoyed their humor, wisdom and fun for the past three days....especially when Osley speaks to others with a full-blown Jamaican accent!

We watched the fireworks on Lagoa (the lake) yesterday night. It rained all day so the sewers were overflooding. By the end of the night, I was ankle-deep in sewage water trying to find Ramon, Jai, and Yohan. The view was spectacular!

Ok, back to my research, poster presentation is due in one week! God bless, thanks for reading. Boa noite!

Christ the Redeemer, Research Crunch and an Awkward Massage...

Corcovado!!!

Finally, I went to see my Savior, Christ the Redeemer. What a spectacle. Even though I see Him every now and then when I travel to Urca or out of Ipanema, finally being up to see one of the Seven Wonders was a transcendent feeling. The figure is reflective of the impact Christianity has on Brazil. Around seventy percent of Brazilians claim the religion and of those, thirty percent are Evangelical Protestants. Yet, sexuality is more fluid here than the U.S. since it plays a stronger cultural role in Brazilian society.

I just have to make two points about what happened today. First, Ahmadinajad did not represent the Arab League nor the state of Iran well when he blamed Israel as racist. To be in a setting under the UN unbrella is a privelege. As the leader of Iran, he is already up against giants. If he wants the EU and the West to listen, then he needs to allow others to want to hear what he has to say, even if it's conflictual.

Second, in South Africa, the ANC is up against the DA in the most pivitol election since the election of Nelson Mandela. What's at stake? The policy of Black Economic Empowerment, the party that Neslon so painstakingly built over decades, and maybe the first white leader since the end of Apartheid. Yet, the DA is ethnically diverse and carries with it a spectrum of viewpoints and opinions. People point to the corruption in the ANC; Zuma is one example. The election is two days away and it may be a surprise of the DA pulls it off, since Neslon Mandela has now made a public appearance backing Zuma.

Strange what happens on the beach. I go there to read one of my research books and low and behold, I come across three European women topless in the gay section of the beach. Two meters away, I can here three English speakers laughing their faces off so I lean closer to see if any are American. Turns out they are!: Osley a Jamaican American, Carleta from D.C. and Adam, a struggling actor/personal trainer from Manhatten.

Adam, a modelesce twenty-seven year-old takes all his clothes off and lays on the sand to tan his buttocks while Osley and Carleta make fun of him. After twenty minutes, Adam stands up and in an instant, catches every gay/straight person's attention on the beach because he has a sock covering his private area.

Then..Osley, Carleta and I break out into laughter after locals chastise him to put his clothes back on. This is the crew who are making my last days in Rio a joy. Carleta and Olsey are wise, seasoned and hilarious to be around. Adam is funny, insecure, and attracts just about any person that walks by him, but his language inablity leaves its mark on the local women ;)

I got the first massage of my life here and it was a bit strange. I go to Farme beach and make an appointment with Nelson Mandella, a local massuese. Then comes my turn and he gives a great oiled massage for about an hour, commenting on my body now and then. Inside, I am a bit flattered because Neslon is attractive and seems genuine, but then....

He pulls down my sunca (bathing suit) and starts to massage my butt. I lay facedown down, naive, and think this is strange, but then again, beleive it was part of the massage process in Brazil. After he finishes, I go to pay him, and his friend comes over and introduce himself to me. He says people are talking about my butt. I feel awkward at this point, so I make my way hurridly out of the beach to my apartment. I later find out this is not normal and not part of the process. lol! I was a bit flattered, but next time, I think I'll take one in closed quarters.

Lastly, it's cruch time! I have this week to wrap up my research and finish my poster outline for my presentation on the 1st of May.

Palestinian Peace, Semi Closeted...

As a Christian who always searches, I often wonder about Palestine. With Korean ancestry, I also sympathize with the Palestians since Korea has a history of colonization and suppression of national identity. Resolution 242 and 338 were passed by the UN after the six-day war and the Camp David Accords. Hamas, the Palestian Sunni extremeist group led by Khaled Mashal spends the majority of their revenues on social services. When Jimmy Carter met with him in April the 1967 borders were agreed upon to bring a hunda, yet the paramilitary wing of Hamas led by Ismail Hamiyeh will never agree to Israel's existence. Will Netanyahu, who was almost assasinated by Mashal, be willing to agree to these boundaries? The real question is if Israel will ever allow Muslims to return to the 1967 boundaries, inverting the majority from Jew to Muslim. Seems unlikely given Israel's history and position in the Middle East.

Jerusalem is holy land for the Abrahamic faiths and it should stay that way. It's quartered off, "shared", and quite practically, it's working better now than it has for centuries. To wrap it up, Palestian territory that was taken by force, according to UN Resolutions 242 an 338, must be returned. This means that the 1967 boundaries of Gaza, the West Bank and the Golan Heights should be given back to Palestinains. It's a far-fetched idea, but people like Jimmy Carter has tried his whole life to bring some sort of tranquility in the region. Hamas has lots of friction within its party and with Fatah, yet I think there's a chance Hamas will bring a dovish hawk to the table for negotiations. If my enemy tried to kill me, I'd be angry too, but if the people mean that much to you where all of your revenue is spent on aquiring social capital, then it's not a far-fetched idea to see if you can meet somewhere towards the middle for starters.

Personally, I've been cooped up in the apartment thinking about where to begin my writing. Many of the books and journals I still need are UW restricted. BUT...I will get it done, and done well :)

Ramon is at the Latin American World Economic Forum as a greeter. He gets to meet CEOs and diplomatic bigwigs. I don't know if he's truly for the working people, he seems like a modern Brazilian capitalist. Yet, as a gay man, he must have it in his heart to seek forms of justice for the marginalized, even if it is only for his own people.

Olivier's buttocks honestly look no different than before he had the surgery. He feels bette though so I guess it worked. He doesn't seem like the type with an issue of image, so I think it boosted his self-esteem a bit and gave him what he wanted. I personally would never have plastic surgery, but for some people, it seems almost recreational. Forty-five percent of the clients, he told me, were male. Maybe that's an international figure?

I finally got to see the side of Brazil I've been waiting to see, Zona Norte, the working areas. The minimum wage is around $200 and people from the North and West will travel up to two hours in the morning to do service jobs in the South. Ramon tells me maids even have maids here which touches upon the heirarchical nature of Brazilian soceity. On the bus, I went past blotches of favelas. As I arrived at Raphael's home, the other side of the street was a favela. He told me not to think of going there. We traveled to the mall and met Charles, his boyfriend. A former military guy, Charles is a late-bloomer who was almost married. He doesn't like PDA and lives a semi-closeted life like many gays in Rio. We went to a store and Charles spotted a couple. He told me he saw the guy at a party the other night, exclusively for gays. The implications of being semi-closted has it affects on HIV and AIDs. Like the states, heterosexual women aquiring aids from their parters who have sex with men (MSM) have become the largest growing group new HIV/AIDS cases.


Lastly, before I take a shower and crash in bed, I want to thank everyone for reading this self-absorbed blog ;) Since my camera was stolen, I don't know if I will buy another one here, but I will make sure I get some photos of my killer tan and post it on this blog (on top of Christ the Redeemer I have to visit before I leave). That's what happens when one of the Seven Wonders sits in your backyard, you tend to forget. Night everyone!


P.S. I just ate a mango the size of a small basketball. If you ever come here, acai is mandatory to try.

meaning of Easter

The past two or three days have been hectic. Relaxed, but hectic. I'm on about three hours of sleep for the past two. Tomorrow is Easter and I am headed to church with Raphael, a good friend I've met. Actually, the first friend I met here. His family and he are very close, so I hope to spend the day with them! Olivier is coming back tomorrow and I want to take him with me to church, but I´m thinking he's still very sore from the surgery and he can't sit on his buttock for two solid weeks.

I called mom and grandma today and they were so excited to talk to me that I didn't really have a say in the conversation! Mom says her studies are going well. I hope she likes the netbook I got her.....

India's election starts this week. The world's largest democracy is going to see an influx of 100 million voters, mostly from the rural areas on top of their general voting population of 700 milliion. It'll probably be a Singh, since the younger Gandhi is still in training. I wonder how well the tata nana is selling? Better put a carbon tax on that India!

Ramon. What an interesting character. He graduated high school at 15 and is a first-year law student at 20 after completing a business degree. Motivated, but naive. Young, and very ambitious. I visited Urca to visit him and his friend Rita and actually got my camera, ipod, and cellphone stolen at a mom-and-pop restaurant. One of the safest places in Rio? Hmmmm.....:) Yet the town was very quiet and cozy and I met lots of friendly locals who think kimchee is a disgusting dish! Shame on them.

So the meaning of Easter. One word. Grace.

I think living a life where many Christians question the paradoxical nature of a homosexual Christian can be difficult. Many gay Christians, like any other marginalized group, seem to have limited options for their social and spiritual life. Almost like a fork in the road, it seems like we have the option of denial (Exodus ministries) or full acceptance, (uninhibited partying and a constant denial towards questioning faith) , but not much in between. This question is very dense indeed, but what I know is that God has never stopped loving his creations. I believe God has a special place in his heart for gays, and He yearns for me at least, to search even deeper in my faith for an unconditional love I have yet to find.

"It's for freedom that Christ has set us free." Before, I used this quote in a yearning to come out. Now, this quote pierces me like a double-edged sword. Freedom is never free and I have to earn and yearn for it. Mandela did it, Gene Robinson is doing it, and Billy Graham would still stand on that pulpit if he had the physical capacity to do to help someone find their truth. So the meaning of Easter is Grace, but with Grace comes a desire to live out one's faith. Fear can hold me for a second, but only for a second.

Plastic Surgery, Olivier's teeth and Brazilian Civil Unions

My friend Olivier is a unique character. First, I don't know of anyone at the age of 25 getting plastic surgery...on his buttocks. It's quite a lot of money, $10,000 dollars to be exact. He says his friends get plastic surgery, and this would be an opportune time to get it in Brazil. The procedure will take a day, but he will need to heal for over a month.

Second, he became a lawyer at the age of 21 since in France, like in Brazil, you go straight to law school after you graduate H.S. His salary? Around $8,000 per month or over $100,0000 a year in Luxembourg. To make a six figure salary at 21 is very impressive. Yet, money only goes so far and if you start worrying about how small your buttocks are while making that much cash, you must be bored with work.

Overall, he is a very nice person with a good heart. He accidentally threw his Invisiline braces in the trash after we left a cafe and while we were walking he shouted, "Shoot, I forgot my teeth!" and ran back to find the braces. That made my night!

So Obama is wraping up in Turkey. I am grateful by his comment," The U.S. will never be at war with Islam." That soundbite sums up the reason why he's my president. His dovish, benign, yet pragmatic approach to Foreign Policy is going to serve the U.S. well in the years to come. The BBC is right in reporting that Obama would win any election in any country currently. He's off to a good start and I hope it continues for some time.

I'm almost done with postcards, ready to be shipped out! Even on the beach I am working: writing postcard and reading about queer spaces and the sex industry.

On that note, one state in Brazil recognizes Civil Unions--Rio Grade do Sul. There are no laws against/nor for gay marriage, but Civil Union legislation has been on the table of the legislature since 1995. I think before civil unions, which benefits a small portion of the wealthy gay population, child protection laws need to be set in place. Salvador has the largest child prostitution rink all of South and Latin America. Jin and I were walking by his apartment and we met a relatively young German guy who had come to Rio for the sex tourism. This, sadly, is very common and young boys and girls and thrust into prostituion (some young as 8 and 9) due to poverty. What's more, the beggers outside of banks and heavy tourism areas pay the local mafia as much as $2000 reals a month ($1000) to beg outside these locations. What's sadder is that young women often rent babies from the local favelas, drug them heavily, then beg with the child in her arms.

Sorry to say this, but then, the Western tourist comes along, hands over $50 reals and says that God has blessed him, so he wants to give back. This isn't to be sarcastic, I have a guilt trip every time I pass by a women with a child, but I have to be smart enough not to perpetuate the cycle of poverty for a minute of moral euphoria. It's like giving a fisherman lots of fish, but no fishing pole. Yet again, this is the case and not the exception in much of the developing world. So if you see a child who's begging, be wise enough to think that there might be a pimp not far away and if he looks hungry, have the decency to buy him some food.

"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

(Matthew 25:37-40)

Day 13?!: North Korea, faith, and Brazilian food

Have I been here 13 days already? Absurd :)

First thing on my mind: North Korea. They just launched what experts call the Taepodong 2, or a long-range ballistic missile that could possibly reach Hawaii and Alaska. It failed, landing in the Pacific Ocean, but the implication is another nuisance that should be seriously checked. Kim Jong Il is transitioning his power, likely very soon. What's more important is that UN resolutions will not accomplish much if the U.S. can't get the North back on the table for the six-party talks. Japan's agitated and has antimissile rockets stationed in the North. Lee Myung Bak is the type that won't tolerate Kim Jong Il's illegitamate demands, but it seems he has no choice if pressured enough by the U.S. and Japan.

Obama quoted, "pragmatism" to set the tone for discussions, saying it must resume diplomacy talks. I don't know too much about Stephen Bosworth, but I hope he can do better than Christopher Hill or Gallucci. They did what they could. Still, the North needs fuel, food, and it wants a seat in Washington. It doesn't help to have both China and Russia's veto power in the Security Council either, but if China gets pressured enough by the Western powers, it may have no choice but to concede to yet another resolution on paper.

Dean Gallucci got back to me and agreed to have a meeting with me when I'm in D.C. He may do that for everyone, but I probably got his attention with Secretary Locke, Congressman Honda and Senator Shin. Especially since Secretary Locke is a rockstar in China, his ties will prove crucial for U.S./China relations in the upcoming Obama years. I didn't know this, but Sarkozy met with Lula in Brazil for a possible spot on the UN Security Council. I heard this, but it wouldn't surprise me since Brazil has the resources and future alternative energy investments.

There're more leftists than I though in Latin and South America. It's good we have Obama over McCain; a dove over a hawk is always better at the bargaining table. I wonder why Che is so popular in Latin America? ;) Is the world becoming leftist or centrist?

I had a conversation with with Olivier, a French student from the London School of Economics planning his J.D. at Northwestern. The French are Centrist under Sarkozy (which is extremely liberal for us), the Israelis are Centrist-right under Netanyahu's Likud party, and even Obama is more Centrist (which isn't a surprise, thanks Doris Kearns Goodwin!) that orignally thought.

On Israel though, Resolutions 242 and 338, passed by the UN Security Council after the 6-days war in 1967 and after the Yom Kippur War in 1973, respectively, doesn't seem like it will be implemented further under Clinton and Obama. Afghanistan, Iran, North Korea, and Iraq is a handful, and who hates the Jews anymore? Realistically though, much of the Arab war does want a peace plan and Israel's legitimacey is yesterday's news. So what's holding us up? AIPAC and other Jewish lobbies are very strong, yes. Hezbollah and Hamas are hated by Western powers but are legitimate in much of the Arab world. I think with Obama's full agenda within the Middle East, Israel is on the backburner as long as they keep out of attackiing innocents again.

So what have I accomplished in 13 days in Rio? Not as much as I intended :) Sorry Ashley. I will spend the next two weeks in the apartment I share with Christiano, the editor for the "Rio for Partygoers" guide. It's ironic that the partygoer king lives with a 21 year old, non-partygoer. Don't mistake me, I like to enjoy my days out, but I'll save it for the weekend. Oh, this weekend is Easter?

I went to a Portuegese mass today at 5pm. It was packed and since it was palm Sunday, there were commemorative palms for each churchgoer. I wonder how I would be if I didn't have faith? I probably would've come out earlier and would have had lots of sex by now. I still believe sex should be shared by two people in love within a committed, God-fearing relationship. Would Christians accept me if said out loud that homosexuals could be God-fearing and committed too? It may be too early to hope for that but I guess hope is what we wish for with things to come. Oh, what's the answer? I say yes.

What's more, I wake up in the middle of the night and wonder what I'm doing here on earth, with God that seems so elusive to me now, more than ever before. Can I really say my faith has gotten stronger? My prayers are more concise and less ostentacious. What do I mean? I mean that I don't pray for everyone's salvation in the same way I used to. Why? I asked my mother once, "if you were born in a Muslim household in the Middle East, what would you be?" Then she said something that surprised me, though it makes sense now. She said she'd be Muslim, but quickly added, "thank God I'm not." Is my mom wrong or was I wrong asking that question? I would say that it is understandable and realistic my mother would answer that way. It's also a legitimate question that humans should ask themselves. What matters though, that us, as humans are not God, and that question of salvation belongs to Him alone. I'm comfortable enough to say that :)

I bought some funny postcards. You reading the blog should anticipate the card coming in the mail. If you forgot to email me your address, please don so in the comment box. What do I love about Rio? Beggers don't inundate me since they think Chinese people are stingy, there are dozens of varieties of fruit I have left to try. Fruta de Conde (aka Custard Apple Ugly), coconut water, mamao (papaya), acaia (smoothie with proteins, Vitamin E, fiber, minerals and a natural cholesterol controller), watermelon, and mangos are staples now.

One word: PRATO FREITO. The daily dish of rice, beans, chicken, potatoes and salad is the BOMB. Eaten by 150 million Brazilians for lunch everyday, this healthy dish is a good balance of fiber, carb, protein, and fat.

Since it's Sunday, I decided to take a break from my literature reviews and took a dive in the trash-infested waters of Ipanema (it's not that bad) and got a nice tan/sunburn in my black speedos.

Stay tuned bloggers and friends and leave a comment or two if you feel like it......

One thing I forgot......

STAY TUNED FOR PICTURES! beach volleyball, Ipanema, Tijuca, Christ the Redeemer...the list goes on.

Also, I just learned Dr. Gallucci from Georgetown was the top negotiator in the 1994 North Korean nuclear crisis. That on top of Dr. Cha and Madeline Albright makes me want to go there even more. Please pray for me, I appreciate all the support I can get.

Day 8

I've finally found an apartment that I can stay at until April 20th. I spent the day helping Jin move, which got ugly because he was exploited by the landlord. She rented an apartment with two room and and a small storage area she uses as a room. Thus, the unlucky tourists have to pay for the entire apartment while she lives in her closet without paying rent and acting like the landlady.

My interaction with her was a bit more down to earth. It turns out she and her brother are both gay and from a poorer region of Brazil. She must have had it hard because now she is on drugs and very emaciated. Jin really shook her up after she demanded he pay for a doornob that was broken since his arrival. I hope the best for her, she was a very sweet girl and deep down, apart from all the ugliness, I could sense sense she had a good spirit.

Besides that, I've spent the day worrying about how I'm going to get this research methodology together. I need to conduct a more thourough literature review and turn that in by Friday. I have set up a few meetings with local gays but they will only provide me with the wealthy perspective of gay life. I need to befriend more local gays that come from the suburbs an favelas.

Tomorrow, I finally plan to send out postcards and a pink bikini for Jason, our IDF Director! lol. I just have to add: interest rates and bigger spending, especially from the EU isn't realistic. Merkel and Sarkozy are already critisizing the summit before its began. We need oversight of banks and institutions asap and hopefully that and a blueprint for better global economic oversight can somewhat be established. Man, Michelle Obama is smokin.....

Good night everyone and God bless.